Hi friends,

Its long since I posted one blog. Now the Olympic fever is gone. Surprisingly Good results for India(Something is better than Nothing).Chinese had set their TARGETS Eight years ago and achieved their TARGETS by pushing the Americans to the Second spot.How they achieved is another story. West may be whining about human right violations by china.Lets forget that.

 Now a days it has become fashion for the Corporate Mangers to ask for the TARGET dates for anything. Some Mangers would follow up nicely about the situation. For most of them TARGET date is enough. If you write a Target date after 2 to 3 years doesn’t matter.

People even set WILD targets, particularly when they are not involved in the team. Please read the true story with wild target set by a lady to the neighborhood boy.

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995 (in Tampa Bay, FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

This wild target might have triggered that boy  to build a wildest dream to reach the Target. Hope Mr.Gorsky would have got what he pleaded for.

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'

Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said:
- Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.
- Did you dance much?
- I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."

A Sheikh was admitted at the Lilavati Hospital in
Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.

Finally a malayalee named Rajappan Trichur ,
Kerala was located who had a similar type of
blood.
Rajappan
willingly donated his blood for the Sheikh.
After the surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan as
appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a Million Dinars.

Once again the Sheikh had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned
Rajappan who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.

Rajappan was shocked to see that
the Sheikh this time did not reciprocate
Rajappan’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Sheikh and said “This time also I thought that you would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery….
But you gave only a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets.

At this the Sheikh replied:

” Mone(son)
Rajappa…now I have a malayalee’s blood in my veins!”

Kuttappan is working as an office boy in Mumbai. He use to join in a conversation with anybody about anything in the world. New boss joined in his Office.Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,

“OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise?”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Babu! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Kuttappan’s boss is still skeptical.

After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else”, Kuttappan says.
“President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes,” Kuttappan says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Babu, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Kuttappan. “I have a lot of friends in Vatican, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So off they fly to Rome. Kuttappan and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Kuttappan says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I will just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.

So he disappears into the crowd, headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his boss has heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss’ side, Kuttappan asks him, what happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Kuttappan?

Moral of the story- Don’t ever underestimate a malayalee again!

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'  

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'  

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his   questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.  

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.   

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'  
Boy.: '9'.  


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'  
Boy.: '36'.  


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'  

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.  


Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'  

 
Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'  

 
 
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,  
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?  

Boy.: Coconut  


Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.  

Boy.: Bubblegum  


Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...  

Boy.: Shake hands  
 


Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get  me up. I get wet before you do.  

Boy.: Tent  


 
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.  

Boy.: Wedding Ring  


Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.  

Boy.: Nose  


 
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.  

Boy.: Arrow  


Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?  

Boy.: Fire truck  


 
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.  

Boy.: Fork  


 
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?  

Boy.: SURNAME.


Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?  

Boy.: HEART.  


 
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,  

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'.
 

Who actually knew this? I didn't!

The Worlds Best Kept Auto Secret

I have been driving for more than a decade. One would think I would have noticed the little secret on my dash that was staring me right in the face the whole time.  I didn't and I bet you probably haven't either.

Quick question, what side of your car is your gas tank? If you are anything like me, you probably can't remember right away.  My solution is to uncomfortably stick my head out the window, strain my neck and look.  If you don't do this in your own car you definitely have done it in a borrowed or rental car.

Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to share with you my little secret so you will no longer look like Ace Ventura on your way to the gas station or put your neck at risk of uncomforted or injury.

If you look at your gas gauge, you will see a small icon of a gas pump.  The handle of the gas pump will extend out on either the left or right side of the pump.  If your tank is on the left, the handle will be on the left.  If your tank is on the right, the handle will be on the right (see photo above). It is that simple!

I don't know how you feel right now but when I found out this morning I felt cheated!

Why don't the dealers share such important information with car buyers?  I don't understand why this isn't in the drivers Ed manual?  I don't get why any mechanic I have ever been too or know has even thought of mentioning this to me?  The only possible explanation can be that all these people probably don't even know!

Go out and share the worlds best kept auto secret with your friends as this is information is way too important to be kept secret.

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria,
BC recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Three contractors . . . One from India, another from Germany and the third  from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. A senior  White House official takes them to examine it.

The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,  then works on some figures with a pencil.  "Well," he says. "I  figure the  job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and  $100 profit for me."

 
The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says,  "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and  $100 profit for me."

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."

The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
 
"Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"

Guess who got the contract.... ......... ...........!! 

BASED ON YOUR SUNSIGNS YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK !!
 
 
ARIES : Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.
 
TAURUS Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say thatthe Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
 
GEMINI Drinking style Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
 
CANCER Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
 
LEO Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what rung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.
 
VIRGO Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure --but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!
 
LIBRA Drinking style "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!
 
SCORPIO Drinking style Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
 
SAGITTARIUS Drinking style In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
 
CAPRICORN Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.
 
AQUARIUS Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.
 
PISCES Drinking style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know. ...  
 

--
Life is Short, so break the rules...     Forgive quickly, 
Believe slowly, Love truly,  Laugh uncontrollably,
                and...
Never regret anything that made you smile...
CHEERS!!!